as always, do not know where/who to turn to anymore-here i am rambling....
it has not been a smooth journey ever since my sem starts.
unlike last sem, lecturers' expectation are higher where work produced must be on par and of coz i would not want to see a drastic drop in my grade.
i was and still am constantly thinking about the path i chose.
under a very emotionally-disturbed condition, can i make a wise decision?
if i were to be given a chance, i'll quit my job and study masters full time in NUS.
(that is exactly what i want)
the consequences:
1. i will be income-less, how am i going to pay my car loan, fees, ptptn etc.
2. i will be job-less, not that i love my current place that much due to some empty promises made, always piling workload and my current super low status where all petty stuff should all be given to me (perhaps they have even forgotten that i am trying to kill 2 birds with a stone)-see how not important i am. what more i need to serve all my 'little bosses' with a smile and guess what do i get in return-poorly written work.
why people can be so selfish? why can't they lend a hand when people have actually asked for help? and why is it, it's always about them when we talk? why is the surrounding going against me too? the newly scheduled train, the weather, the people in my rented place (grrr the 3 lil' devils-can i just stranggle them! one day i'll blog about them), my coursemates, my colleagues, my superiors and the 'little bosses'-all turn me off..
i'm always frowning and i don't like to talk much recently. i've even lost appetite but tend to gobble down a lot at times. i think sleeping is a waste of time --i feel abnormal.
people might be offended, people might even start hating me especially my 'little bosses'.
couldn't care much, i am trying to get used to receiving negative comments in the evaluation form.
what can i do now to make myself feel better?
if this is pms, plz go away and leave me alone. if this is psychological issue, i might as well go insane and be locked up in an asylum. if it is just dissatisfaction, get over it and continue moving-no time to waste for there are a lot to be done.