Children's Smile

I smiled after 3 long days… by all means, it has been very long since I last smile…
I’m easily contented which explains y I smile/laugh a lot but not easily impressed..
If any of u saw me smiling last few days, I totally make it up-it’s a fake smile-
‘u’ here indicating my coursemates n hostelmates..

Dis weekend was like hell to me, I locked myself in my room-buried my head into my f.y.p and I managed to get all d corrections done as well as improvising some not very well-done subtopics… will kick start my analysis asap to avoid getting myself into trouble at d end of d semester..

I wish to go out from d ‘cell’ but once I go out, I tend to spend $$... oh ya, my phone MASUK AIR during my stay in Singapore-how ‘lucky’, phone spoil right b4 cny but it has been repaired with oni RM30 but d outcome is not very good.. nehow still can pick up calls n sms which means it still can b used.. how I wish my dad is a zillionaire so I can buy wateva I like without thinking thrice.. b4 I enter d next phase of life, I wud get myself a brand new phone *keeping finger cross*

D ‘illness’ I’m coping is getting no where.. I struggled hard to erase dis ‘illness’.. I tried various technique i.e reading, doing laundry, hitting the tennis ball very hard, watching drama, playing games, amending my f.y.p but guess wat, d minute I’m free, it irks me!!!! Dun wish to jeopardize my studies now, it’s my final semester, keep telling myself to keep up d good work n 1st class wud b guaranteed..
Perhaps mood fluctuation among ladies is normal as every1 regards hormone imbalance to young women..

I went to d tennis court just now, wanting to release my anger, whatsoever feelings on d tennis ball.. after hitting d ball for 1 hour, I got tired n d ball flew everywhere…
Thanks to 2 little cuties who picked up d ball n hand it to me wif a wide smile.. once they smile though they oni have two teeth, I smiled too-sincere one dis time- children are d happiest creature in d world, they have no worries, no fear, no doubt, no regrets, no frustration… we shudnt grow up dis quick.. god shud lengthen our childhood period..

indescribable feelings..

tired of...
yearning for..
afraid of..
lonely...
confused...
puzzle...

i need a cure to my peculiar illness which had neva happen to me, not in d past..
i need enlightenment to all my doubts..
else, oni darkness is yet to come...
which path should i go???
this or that-both are not d best
but i do need to decide so i would not fall deeper into d chasm..
i need courage to face d consequances of action i've taken..
finally, quoting a saying from a close fren of mine..

"its weird when evrything just seems to slow down n u are stuck in one spot with no choice but letting your mind wander so many things"

4th day-Nite : In Marina Mandarin

d 2nd part of d day... d wedding dinner (kinda sad, as soon as d dinner ends, i'll b heading bk to d prison).. neway, dis is d continuation of d previous entry..

focus on d 2 kids in front.. d flower boy is so cute, i feel like cubit-ing him.. i have always adore naughty small boys, no matter how naughty they r, once they smile i'll forgive n even give them a hug.. dis little guy reminds me of dylan-4 year old boy i once taught..

cake cutting session

finally, at 8.30pm d food is served .. d waitress n waiter marched in n do a short dance routine on d stage (i feel so cold, wanting to eat sth to reduce my coldness). since i hav a very high level of patience i took my 1st glass of red wine, sip slowly, taste d bitterness of it, manage to finish 3/4 of it k-d best wine drinking achievement eva in my life- i admit i'm d oni 1 who always think wine is bitter.. like wat melvin said, i dunno how to appreciate wine-drinking..

champagne pouring session, c how happy they r-wearing a wide smile on their faces throughout d nite..

getting ready to yell 'yum sheng' out of their lung..

table to table photo taking-how sweet n thoughtful of d couple, we neva have dis in sitiawan..

d delighted parents and d newly wed...

glenn & ann being sandwiched by my dad n i- d 2 giants..

dat's my dearest, i most favoured cousin brother, tuang hong who sayang me d most at d same time like to bully/argue wif me.. spot any similarities?? yes, we r both ~f*t~.. hahaha, dun kill me.. anyhow, dis sweet brother of mine has been an excellent tour guide but sadly we didnt manage to go Sentosa Island.. wanna express my gratitude to u here-dun even know whether u'll b reading it or not- thanks for d food, gifts (received 1 ore bracelet & a necklace made in Aussie-i love them), accomodation n hospitality.. u've been a great host.. thank u once again..

ann on d other hand, is my favourite cousin sis.. she told us she wanted to b d prettiest bride with d widest smile, she accomplished it, doesn't she... ann has all d features i wish to have- no fear of speaking, brave, talkative, confident.. no wonder she is a successful assistant human resource manager in a big shipping company.. when she 1st arrived in singapore, she hardly spoke mandarin, today her mandarin is fairly good.. salute her!!

dats d boy i spotted at glenn's house in d morning, isnt he adorable???? he is glenn's nephew n my oh my i over heard him speaking to his dad, spoke english fluently wif his very cute voice... hahaha.. glenn too is as cute as his nephew.. though i knew him for about 4 days, there's 1 incident which make me laugh.. here it goes, they were selecting suitable songs for thier march in, ann has made her choice n wanted glenn to listen.. there's 1 song -i dunno d title-, d singer sang 'when i'm feeling blue', without thinking he condemned it.. other songs he didnt really pay attention-busy discussing his stuff wif my uncle but dat song really caught his attention...

final words for glenn & ann... best wishes n i hope both of u will live happily ever after.. looking forward to some nephews / nieces on my next visit...

4th day: Glenn & Ann's Wedding

ya, finally d WEDDING day is here... i shall let d photos do d talking...

ann, d beautiful bride to b trying to eat her breakfast

d sistaz holding 'stuff' to sabotaj d groom-i didnt realli participate in 'making glenn's life miserable' event, just helping d sisters out.. mind u, i'm d youngest in d lot.. youngest yet d f*ttest.. -sad case-

d bride n her jie mei-wat izzit call in english huh?? notice d uniform, f.y.i d groom's heng tai also wearing uniform..

yu's family, of coz my aunt (in red) is by d surname ong.. d most right is my cousin bro-dawson while d most left pretty lady is june, younger cousin sis..

glenn's parents a.k.a d in-laws... very warm family, serving delicious food n i spotted a very cute boy (will reveal him at d end of dis entry)

caught everyone in action-all trying to hold at d super long gown n me trying not to step on it while umbrella-ing her..

tea-drinking ceremony, that's my dad (ya ya, white hairs -uban- but he's not a senior citizen yet)

ann's close ones...

saw d uniformity, reminds me of my high school class photo..

dis is d loving newly-wed couple (glenn & ann-their names even rhyme) standing next to their wedding car -jaguar- did i get d spelling right??

*to b continue*

3rd day: BBQ nite

My dad got here at 6.30am-how early, he managed to walk from d bus station to d house, took around half n hour, very smart indeed as he neva been to my aunt's house-basically he was asking for direction all d way from Boon Lay to Jurong West....
went to ntu, meet up wif thian thian..
i didnt get to experience a minute of hunger when i was there, aunt gave me milk n cereal for breakfast at home, drank starfruit juice in ntu, took our lunch at a nearby hawker centre... there's dis very famous stall selling 'mermaid' dish,
wat a fantabulous name!! it's just d traditional 'smelly satay fish' which i hated most..
n dat's d oni stall wif a super long queue..

after that, we accompany my cousin bro to do some last minute shopping for d bbq tonite..
out of a sudden, in d middle of d road, my dad accidently kicked d divider n fell-my heart stopped, as if it has dropped into my tummy- haizzzz, my dad shocked d 3 of us out very much indeed, me especially...

around 2pm, we packed our bags n headed to changi villa which is 1 hour drive from jurong..
my aunt cooked 1 big bowl of sweet n sour curry fish for dat nite, it was so so so so so so nice (i dun really fancy fish but she makes me wan more)
at nite, after bbq-ing, i straight go to bed coz hav to wake up at 4.30a.m d next day..

2nd day : Orchard Road

walk, walk n walk...
a good way to describe my day today....

orchard road is a shopping heaven, sadly i m not singaporean so everything seems to b expensive for me coz my mind keep multiplying d price.. eventually, my math improved drastically when i was there..

there's dis pic of me surrounded by lotsa delicious food at ting tai fong-i get to know d famous siew long pau.. actually we have dis restaurant around klcc but i've neva been there n if i go also i can’t afford..

look at my greedy face trying to reach out for d food!!

ntg much today, walk round some of d malls-didnt manage to visit all coz too many already .. i remember takeshimaya shopping complex d most becoz of d name, sound like takeshi kaneshiro.. hehe...
another 1, millenia walk famous for its unique colourful ceiling

and there's d 'fountain of wealth', idiot me, forgot to snap pic of d largest fountain in d world...

in d evening, we met up wif our little cousin bro who is 187cm tall... haha, he is so tall he didnt c a pair of albino twins.. at d same shopping complex, there was an orchestra performance-all d 6 pretty gals in ceongsam played beautifully...

den we collect 330 bears from d hotel where ann will held her dinner..
basically, dats it.. we head bk straight after dat- have our dinner at a hawker centre, cousins gathering-1st time eva, also present our future cousin bro-in-laws...

1st day - Merlion

wooo hooooo, i'm oversea!!!!!!!!!
my very 1st day here in singapore..

travelled all d way from kajang to jb alone...
neva know i have turned into a daring n adventurous person-unbeliveable, d scaredy kampung girl has been a brave girl recently.....
d train is not so bad actually, punctual and it's clean but a bit noisy-i mean d passengers, kids to b specific...


it was raining cats n dogs but it stopped when we reached jurong west around 6pm-how lucky, dump my luggage, say hi to my aunt n uncle, refill my water n off we go again-my cousin bro n i.....


wanna know how singapore had impressed me???


first of all, d clealiness-ya ya, everyone knows it but realli it impressed me, in d mrt especially!!
den d cars realli stopped for us at d zebra crossing-pedestrians would not have to watch out for cars- which will not happened in malaysia for sure...
d escalator's speed surprised me 2.. but oni those at d mrt stations move way faster compare to other common places-no wonder singaporean are being labelled as kiasu, oni some la according to my cousins-which i somehow believe in their words..

neway, we walked a lot, realli a lot...... round n round boat quay, saw stamford raffles' statue n d merlion-full wif tourists from all over asia, heard them speaking in their mother tongue
i just remember i walked a lot, looked at d scenary n d people, mostly hand in hand..
lucky me n bro to snap dis pix-d merlion-


before we called it a day, i met up wif d bride n groom-my cousin sis looked so happy though i know she's tired managing her wedding... finally my cousin bro drove d groom's new car back to jurong west..

all ALONE!!

it's saturday morning, just finish doing laundry...
it's kinda quiet since last nite-possible to hear a pin drop...
weird isn't it-d gals aren't making any noice, no loud music, no shouting, no chit-chatting till d wee hours..
am i d oni soul living in dis building now???
where's d rest???
kinda freaky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
afraid to go to d bathroom especially during d nite-so i musn't drink so much water den....
*sigh*

when they make noise, i complain... now, they have settled down- i can even hear d birds chirping outside, i got scared.. yes yes i admit i'm a scaredy cat..

i'm so difficult to please ain't i??

My 2nd WeeK..

apparently i'm free, no hectic schedule except wednesday and thursday, 5 n 4 hours class each which is fine with me.. i have lotsa time to hang out with my frends..
speaking of hanging out, i wish to share a funny happening in mc d kajang.. last wednesday- i went there wif 3 coursemates, n so dis daring gal frend of mine did something out of d expectance.. she walked towards 1 of d boy at d counter n tell him he's cute.. fuhhh, salute her man, i wud neva dare to do dat.. pity those not so cute colleagues of his who witness d scene while he blushing away..
d whole situation is rather hilarious but it dun sound funny here becoz i'm not a trained story-teller..

another defination of 'hang out' is throwing $$$ away... read on to c how i 'throw' cash away..

on d 1st of jan, i was in berjaya time square where i donated approx 200 to some shops..
yesterday was awal muharam n it was a public holiday-yes i did some 'hang out' for oni 4 hours n i wasted another 100 for a dress compare to d previous outing-roughly 8 to 9 hours..

i oredi hav a new black dress (not really a dress, combination of dress n pants-wat izzit call in english huh?) which i bought last year..
so y buy another 1 as if my dad grows money on tree?? blame no one but me becoz a little bird told me singaporeans alwiz dressed up to the nines.. therefore, d inmature side of me commanded me to get a more impressive one so i wud look fairly presentable during my cousin sis's (ann) wedding on d 22nd..
dis new outfit of mine is yellow in colour, how 'outstanding' i wud b if d rest of d diners wear d usual black... *sigh*

enuff with 'play time'..
i went to consult my supervisor dis morning.. received some feedback for my first 3 chapters..
he said it's ok n not much mistake, not much amendment to b made except some wrongly choice of words n need to add elaborations on certain issues-honestly, for me it's a lot...
still remember my entry entitled 'ladies talk', it happened to me again in my supervisor's room..
guess wat, when i said i dun hav a bf he was a little shocked bcoz he tot i hav 1 all along.. den he asked why, bla bla bla (c, i was in trouble again).. clever me get away again by turning d topic back to my project..
is being single a sin for people in their tweenties??? (dis remind me of melvin's entry entitled sinful single)
dat's d ques for us to ponder..

Job Dilemma

waiting in anticipation to attend literature lecture tomorrow, i've read some of my seniors' notes n i find it very fascinating!!! very eager to look at those interesting assignment topics too (dun c me as an alien k dearest coursemates, just a word of advice : love those assignments n they will sure love u back)
let see, i have just attended the 1st lecture of my final semester..
dr.noraini, the course coordinator for english language analysis 3.. she has been 1 of my favourite lecturer... i envy her fluency in english, she speaks very rapidly with very accurate pronunciation-never out of words n her loud laughter makes me smile.. unlike other lecturers, she attained her BA, MA & PhD in Malaysia-hence, the grass is not always greener on the other side- my supervisor too is a proud local product..

i wonder izzit possible for me to b like them 1 day??
i'm just too timid to speak up, afraid of voicing my opinions, afraid that i'll sound too offensive or insulting, afraid to ask questions, afraid of presentation, n anything to do with my voice and mouth except munching food..
why can't i just ignore how people look at me?? most of my uni friends are in no doubt their ability though they might be wrong..

there's nothing great for being a 1st class student/top student if the person (me) fail terribly in communication skills..
after attending d career seminar last weekend, fear envelope me..
looks like, i'm not guaranteed with a job becoz they (the recruiter) put aside our academic performance.. worse still, they empahsize on popular courses i.e engineering, accountancy, business and none of them touch on language courses..
1 more to worry, the curricular vitae (cv), according to the speaker (some professionals from human resource department in several big popular companies) they wan something that can capture their interest to read on, d length shouldnt b more den 2 pages, no exaggerations, no bombastic language but can't b too plain..
they want us to say we are fantanstic, great, extraordinary.. isn't it a little ironic??
dun wan us to b boastful but it's crucial to state our strength..

frankly, if people ask me what i wan to be, my ambition-i freak out, i dun hav an answer for it..
i can forsee future me particularly on my graduation day being bombarded by career/job issue..
to whoeva my 'prince charming' will b, do grab me and ride away on a white pony..

there u have it, final year project hanging in dd air, resume need to b done..

Complains, nothing but Complains!!!

national university of malaysia (ukm), my uni which recently produced a handsome 1st malaysian astronaut.. manage to top um in d uni ranking last year, received pm awards n other very great achievements-too many to mention, n some i dun even know.. haha...

after paying much tribute to my uni, it's time to grumble
i'm satisfied with all, almost all d facilities, lecturers, classrooms, food, students, library, hostel, ya da ya da ya da except 1...
THE INTERNET CONNECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
usually, we need to go to d library or d faculty or some chosen eatery centers or anywhere except our own room to log into d net...
ok, fine, manage to build a nest at bahagian akademik but guesse wat, i can blog but i can't view my page-pathetic!!!!
so, how am i going to do my final year project?????
sometimes i dislike my uni (most of d time when i fail to access to d internet), anyhow i will b receiving my degree here.... *sigh*

need to have internet access 24/7 (at least can view d page), if not how izzit possible for me to collect my frends blog entries for analyis??? f,y.p is very important, necessary to pass n i wouldnt wanna miss getting an A for it (depicting how kiasu i am)...
wat shud i do?? write a complain letter??? make some noice at ukm computer center, tell d press (sms kosmo-i wudnt wan/ dare to do dat coz it may give some very bad impression to d public but some students did.. *sigh*)

dat's d explaination on y i fail to update my blog dis few weeks!!!
n thousand of apologies to those who had left a msg on my chat box,
very sorry for d late replies (i can't view it)

so YesterYear..

goodbye 2 oh oh 7, hello 2008....
i shall write bout wat happened to me last year
(dun really believe in resolution coz it neva comes true)

n it's hard for me to accept d saying-let bygones be bygones...
yes, i'm quite forgetful but i do remember those dark moments (some not so sweet memories which i tend to remember it like foreva)
that's why , all my weaknesses are revealed in dis realm..

let's start with those not so nice moments but it is related to 2 big significant occasions...
many of u know i m d member of orchestra traditional ukm-so i've been getting involve with lotsa performance though i'm just a beginner...

basically in 2007, there were 2 very big orchestra events happened to me..

first, our very own concert in uni, from practising some very tough score (f.y.i i m just a beginner) to promoting to drawing banner during new year eve to arranging chairs in a super big hall-sounds very challenging.. it is, n i did gain precious experience..

when d concert was in d making, due to some miscommunication or i dunno wat cause the 'tiny' arguement.. apparently d guy scolded me-though it's oni a harsh sms but i got very upset n tears just roll down my cheeck (my very 1st time, being scolded by a frend-a guy some more)

other than that, it's all good i think...
quite fortunate becoz some experience performers lend a hand
thus, i got to co-operate with very well er hu player( there were others di zi, pi pa professional from professional cultural center -pcco) thanks to them and a bunch of yu hua school kids (neva underestimate kids-they are a bunch of very talented teenagers) d concert was a success..

dis is d beginning, when d audience hav taken their seats, di zi players marched in-heheheh..

i feel honoured n proud to b 1 of d performers.. eventually i feel glad after d encore n gave a big sigh when i was playing my final piece...

next, d record breaking performance name 'long ying' (an evening with the melodious dragon) held in PISA, penang... yes we travelled all the way from kajang to penang it's a super long journey (push off at 1 noon, reached at 8pm-figure out d hours i spent in d bus yourself)..

we, a few uni students in our tweenties were put together with a bunch of teenagers in a bus (i did feel a little 'old' bcoz of those energetic kids as they sang all d way from jelapang highway to penang bridge-salute!!!!! dunno bout d others but i do feel tired) half of my uni frends were having industrial attachment, so they came later, another trip with some real adults.. so, apparently i was d oni 'lady' there with d hyperactive teenagers n d 'toilet incident' happened...... i can't bare d embarrassment, i tot of getting a bus n go home straight.. howeva, a very thoughtful senior persuaded me n i realize dat i will miss d once in a life time experience.. therefore, i stayed n put d incident aside..

more den 1000 performers from several high school around north malaysia took part n make dis record breaking performance a success...

dis is d kl bunch consisting very good musicians from pcco, we-ukm representers, n d yu hua children..

francis yip-d infamous singer from hong kong, d international conductor-mr.chow n 2 other capable conductors were d legendary persons in chinese orchestra, one way or another i was full of pride when i walked out of d hall...

so, that was my 2007.. after these 2 events, i hardly practise my er hu..

finally, Happy New Year n may dis year of d rat (2008) bring fortune n happiness to all of u!!!