Taking the blame/responsibilities

When we have done something wrong and realise it afterwards especially when another person finds out, what do we normally do? We apologise...

What if when we didn't know we've done something wrong until another person finds out and alerts us, what do we normally do? We thank them and apologise if it has caused any conveniences...

What if it's an oversight, we did the mistake unintentionally until the person who is directly affected sounded you? Same response, not only we apologise, we need to take the blame and do whatever it takes to make the person feel good...

There's an obvious trend where the person who did sth wrong whether intentionally or not, must apologise...

However, I'm over-estimating my capability of taking blames and responsibilities...I thought I can and am able to swallow the hard pill... It turns out, I CAN'T!!!!!
When it's someone else's fault but because I'm indirectly involved, I find it really difficult to take the blame and responsibilities...

Anyway, I'm done apologising and taking the blame... That's why this post is created - so that I can get it off my chest... It's really suffocating, pretending to be happy, pretending that everything is normal, pretending that I'm ok when clearly I'm not...

Understanding Myself

Do I know what I want exactly?
Do I know how I feel when things happened especially not-so-good things?

I always claim that nobody understands me including my parents and take things the wrong way... At the end of the day, I'm heartbroken, I cry myself to bed after saying harsh things...

Is it because I don't love myself at all causing me to see all the flaws I have in me and at the same time expecting people who care for me to complete me? Unfortunately, nobody can ever complete me...

It's time to get to know myself better... Pretending to be happy and ignorant seems to suffocate me, I'm going to stop doing that...