fault finder

it's way past my bed time, hav some trouble falling asleep now...
perhaps, wat happened after dinner caused dis..

i neva get along wif my brother, i hate him and i m very sure he hates me as much as i do...
he's 1 freak, weirdest species on earth (y m i related to dis type of human being in my life) which i cant get along... he rarely talks, no1 in d family knows wat is in his mind... i swear to myself i would neva speak to him again..
talk to him properly, ignore me (as if i neva exist), so i couldnt stop myself frm shouting at him (api membara-bara in my head)- d weirdest thing is tonite he shouted very fiercely back at me as if he'll wack me, i do not know wat i did which upset him.. guess wat i defended myself by shouting back, all dis very loud shouting goes on for quite a while, happened when both my parents were out.. damn it, i seriously hate him to d max .... i envy those who can b so close n get along so well wif their siblings, it wil neva happen in dis family........ dun ask me to tolerate coz i cant as i've tried many many many times... so shitty, d shouting make my throut painful.....

later on, a frend dropped by den we went to d newly opened uncle john for a drink... if u think karma is a myth, u r wrong... coz after d shoutings, d frneds whom i met up wif commented on my hair cut-d fringe, obvious layers of fat, my hideous purse etc etc (none of it is positive).... my mom always says 'quarrelling at home can lead to u being condemned/bullied by outsiders', i kinda agree wif it now..............