emo again...

humans love to listen to compliments > very much a FACT..................
i wouldnt wanna deny, lying is ok (small lie) or u can go beat around d bush, as long as it keeps me happy... sometimes, those 'indirectness' or worst 'directness' would somehow upset me, yes i do knw i couldnt control wat people want to say as mouth is usually used to not only eat but speak......
can u guys give me some 'face' at least....... i've seriously tried my best to please n help every1> as long as i c ppl around me r happy, i will be equally happy...
sadly, i've putting some fake smiles on my face recently, i couldnt smile sincerely.... all d small small things have snowballed n it HuRts!!!!!!!!

btw, til today, i neva hav my lunch or meal or supper wif colleague from d same departement, not oni dat, neva even have a good chat on stuff other den work with any1... no frend, ok fine...
d 1 closest to me would b d unit leaders... i'm just a tutor, nt allowed to teach, just there to guide, so yes i dont knw much in other word stupid..... so, dun ask me anything regarding english, i m not good at it at all, ask d 1 with masters or doing it?? perhaps due to my not-up-to-d-par vocab resulted frm insufficient reading, dats y ppl dun look up n respect me..... damn, my self-esteem level is damn low, lower den u can neva imagine... wat's d use of being a top student who excels in studies, pointless!!!!!!!! graduated wif 1st class doesnt mean u can do well for d rest of ur life... as long as u r good in twisting, turning n convincing, yeah d world wud recognize u....

immature me thought i'll b happy if i got to do wat i love most-teaching-
i miss studying very very badly............(i miss my sitiawan gang so much when i was in ukm; now, i missed my ukm frends freaking a lot)... to b a student is d luckiest thing eva, u hav at least a few true frends who'll b by ur side n 24/7 ready-to-lend-a-hand lecturers... what does a working lady has?? no fren, no help plus being ordered to do dis n dat; yet i neva reject any favour asked by any1, i guess d word 'no' doesnt exist in my dictionary.... tmr onwards, i'll revive 'NO'......