if it's a no, plz enlighten me now someone/something.
if it's a yes, den it's worth all my tears, d hole in my tummy, my eyesight etc.
i know i shud give up complaining and spend time doing wateva necessary-i guess my complaints have lessen, which is why i'm alwiz awake in d middle of d nite unexpectedly.
it has been a real tough journey so far, i have a mixed bag of feelings (n acting violently, hurting myself) eva since i started juggling between d 2 most important matter in my life.
n d level of tolerance to certain stuff has deteriorated, but my concern to my closed ones become greater day after day.
why people i love n care for alwiz die in my dream (nightmare)?
most of d time i was in shock/terrify when i open my eyes either becoz of d dream or studies or work-related stuff.
when will i get a break? even if i do, i wouldnt have d mood for it.
i need to camouflage myself when i m out, dat is why people around me alwiz assume i can manage things efficiently and effectively.
dis is oni study + work, i wouldnt even dare to imagine my next phase of life family + work + study (he said our kids might die of hunger coz i tend to turn everything off when i do my assignment, as if i m in my own world).
i know i m not d most kesian human on earth, but i really have to do something to make myself feel better, idea flow faster, cry and worry lesser.
sigh~
=(
1 comment:
u'll be fine, dear~~ i also hav the same dream as yours.. ppl i loved died in the dream, but i guess that showed what u feared the most.. but be strong.. i knw its easier done than said, but tat really is fundamental.. wish u all the best..
p/s: u knw we love you~~ =D
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