I have constantly reminded myself not to be influenced by others but never once successful... I wonder why...
I always live in someone else's shadow and never once believe in myself... I wonder why....
I want to rebel but I am afraid.... I wonder why...
I suspect myself to be suffering from mild depression but I try to hide it.... I wonder why...
I really want to talk to someone whom I can trust and understand my current situation but I do not know who I can trust....
I don't want to hate but I just couldn't stop hating... I wonder why...
I always want to stop myself from engaging in fun activities which are deemed time-wasting but I fail...
I have no choice but to keep all my dissatisfaction to myself, fear that people will despise me...I will only blame myself for what I am... If I were to put the blame on others, I know I will be friendless... I am learning to be independent, solo and not to rely on others, so that I will be able to withstand the lonesome feeling one day.... Although, I appear to have many friends, I do not how many souls are sincere.... Yes, friends are important, but at times they can be very discouraging... Hence, I've decided to disconnect myself, shut myself from the outside world and live in my own dimension....
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