a CraZY LanGuaGe

Let's face it- English is a crazy language

Sweatmeats are candies while sweatbreads, which aren't sweet are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradozes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, two geese. One moose, two meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you make amends but not one amend, that you comb annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, grunted, ruly, or piccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.


Source: The Star (MOE)